The Worst Ghosts of 2021

An examination of the worst ghost evidence to hit the headlines in the last 12 months

Since 2010, I have officially catalogued The 5 Worst Ghosts from the past year that have graced media headlines. They’re called the ‘worst’ not because they’ll get you when you’re sleeping, but because they’re just ridiculous and just very rubbish all around. Without further ado, here are the Worst Ghosts of 2021!

#5 The Lady That Was A Flag, Actually

This isn’t the only story to feature on this list which includes an alleged ghost caught on a camera at a hotel that brags to be the “most haunted”, where the headline references The Shining.

Anyway, I digress... this story features here firstly because it’s a bit of a naff ghost photo but also because I wanted to include details of the brilliant investigation into the photo conducted by Kenny Biddle. Kenny writes for Skeptical Inquirer and is one of those investigators who just digs into the detail and extracts the facts. You can read his analysis of this apparition here.

I almost didn’t include the flag lady apparition on this list because it is a pretty unusual photo, but I decided to include it in the end because Kenny’s analysis shows how easily people will jump to spooky conclusions when the truth is literally fluttering right above their heads.

#4 Man Wears Chinos

Imagine the scene...

You’re a man. You’re in Liverpool. You’ve been and done a bit of shopping. You’re sitting in the passenger seat of a car. The car drives past the Anglican Cathedral. You take some photos out of the car window of the Cathedral. Then, when you get home, you look at the photos and there is a man in one of them. Wearing chinos.

A man, in a cathedral grounds wearing chinos can only be one thing and that thing is A GHOST. Yes, that’s right. An actual ghost. We know this because Darren Eaton, who found himself in the exact scenario I described above said of his ghostly encounter:

‘one of the photographs shows the back of a man stood staring at the cathedral. He appears to be wearing a navy sports jacket and tan coloured jeans or chinos ... people don’t really dress like that in Liverpool anymore. He appeared to be a bit out of time or out of place in some way...’

Oh, Darren.

#3 Some Fire Extinguishers

Anyone not familiar with The Steers, skip to #3 so that you can hold onto that magical ignorance. Those who like to punish themselves, read on.

This couple are ghost hunters who broadcast their ghost hunts live online to their fanbase. It’s really bad, and not even in a villainous way. It’s just... naff? You are reading my award-winning blog and I’m sorry but I literally do not have the words to eloquently describe what they do and what’s wrong with it.

Luckily, this news item reported by the Manchester Evening News can do that on my behalf. Behold... a spooky photo of some fire extinguishers!

Remember, kids... if you’re thinking of becoming livestream ghost hunters who literally rip off the Most Haunted concept, remember that Most Haunted episodes were about 30 minutes long and there’s a reason for that.

#2 A Ghostly Peen

Yes. You read that right.

A penis that is a ghost... or is that a ghost that is a penis? I don’t know! The Daily Star are putting in an appearance at the number 2 position on the Worst Ghosts list this year with this report of a ghost penis caught on camera at a bar in New Orleans. Not the rest of the ghost, mind, just this part of it. My professional opinion is that this ghost is a *cough* piss poor apparition.

#1 Your Flowers Are Too Heavy For That Vase!

The thing I like about gravity is firstly that I’m not floating off into the atmosphere (huge fan of that) but also that it scares people who don’t really understand basic physics. Take for example the staff at The Red Lion pub in Shirley (not a woman), who caught on their CCTV system the moment that a vase fell off of a shelf. The vase ended up on the floor, which isn’t unheard of (had it ended up on the ceiling then I might have found that of interest, not going to lie.)

The Coventry Telegraph reports that ‘staff at the Red Lion are convinced it was pushed by a poltergeist and it is not the first time it has happened, though it is the first time such an incident has been captured on film.’

An object moving does not a Poltergeist make. Regular ghosts are said to be able to make things move, disappear and reappear and so on, but I think that paranormal movies have just used the idea of a malevolent Poltergeist entity for the scare factor and now people seem to automatically link kinetic activity in a haunting to a Poltergeist.

The boring fact is that kinetic energy is proportional to mass which means that big, heavy items can fall with quite some force. Factors like the impact point, the angle of the object, and the height of the fall can cause an item to move in a manner that suggests it was purposefully “thrown” when this was not the case. This has all gotten a bit too serious for a The Worst Ghosts summary, so to round out the post I have written a poem...

YOUR FLOWERS ARE TOO HEAVY FOR YOUR VASE

Your flowers are too heavy for your vase, my friend,
this is how upon the floor that bouquet did end.
You think this was caused by some spooky little force,
and it was... one that’s called Gravity, of course!

Every object’s gravity is relative to it’s mass,
so, it’s lucky that your vase was not made out of glass!
It’s the weight of the flowers that affected the ‘curvature’,
and now, as a consequence, there’s water on your furniture.

I hope you have enjoyed this Worst Ghosts summary for 2021! Have a wonderful New Year ✨